Things that are certain within this realm.
			When something very rare happens for the first time, the opposite of these events would of happened too. As in "The gas station bathroom is clean?? Well, let's break out the winter clothes because Hades just froze over(8)."
	It is certain that: 1. Two wrongs will make a right. (fortunately) 2. The sun will rise. 3. The phones will work. 4. Death. 5. Taxes. 6. The Sony Playstation Chat on AOL has at most 1 God-fearing person in the room at any given time (that person is ME!) UPDATE: August 2007, got off of Atheist On Line, am staying Christian. 7. There will never be peace in the Middle East. 8. Hades will remain a hot place. 9. Zip Code 02878 will always be a boring retirement community with no place to walk to. (Please die somewhere else!!) 10. Weight gained can NEVER be lost and kept off. 11. They will never sell a dozen of doughnuts with cinnamon, powdered, and chocolate frosted in the package at the same time. Instead they have cinnamon, powdered, and plain, or chocolate frosted, powdered and plain. 12. You will never see a demon. 13. There is no queen of faeries. 14. Marriages will fail more than 50% of the time. 16. There will never be a solid-state portable MOD player (unless you get a GBA/PSP/NDS) 17. There will never be a portable WAV recorder with cheap recordable media. 18. People will still argue that LP sounds better than CD or vice versa. 19. The people in Northern Ireland will fight to the death with intentional collateral damage over petty things the way bratty children do 20. East Lake Variety will never sell a dark, caffeine-free, non-diet, carbonated, 20oz beverage. UPDATE: I don't know how long this will last, but now I drink a 2 liter Caffeine Free Regular Coke every day. 21. You can be sacrificed to the gods of war before you are allowed to drink alcohol. 22. Michael Jackson will wish that he was the next Pope. 23. Bill Clinton will never be caught dead within 500 feet of any non-Satanic, non-Pagan, or non-Atheist church. 24. You will never go deaf from the Sony PSP's speakers. 25. It seems like the Gameboy Advance SP's price will never drop below 70 dollars new. 26. It seems like Polaroid 600 film's price will never drop below $1 a shot when measured in year 2005 dollars. UPDATE: Now a 10 pack of film costs $15 (cha ching!)  in 2009 dollars. 27. Non-pedophile priests will not ever exist until Armageddon. 28. Portable Sony Minidisc recorders will always have a weak headphone amp on them. 29. They will find live talking elves before they find Osama Bin Laden. (Still not found  as of January 15, 2009) 30. Fidel Castro will never die (unfortunately). 31. They will never again make new CED needles for needlevision movie players. 32. I will never be able to afford a stereophonic record cutter. 33. Sony Minidisc will never catch on in the US. 34. Never again will they make a cassette walkman with even Dolby B Noise Reduction, let alone Dolby C. 35. There will never be good music again, instead there will be Rap and Goth-Metal. 36. Minidisc will catch on in the US before NHL Hockey will.(unfortunately for hockey) 37. I will never get rid of this Scabies rash on my fingers (that I had since 1995) permanently. (Except for 2005+) 38. I will continue to have the diahrreah that I have had since August 2000. (8 years and counting!) 39. There will never be a maximum wage. (unfortunately) 40. It's cheaper to shoot someone with a gun than a film camera. UPDATE: Digital cameras are making this one less certain. Film is getting really cheap now, like $0.25 a roll at NWL. UPDATE of UPDATE: NWL is now out of buisness. Guess they lost too much money selling good cheap film. 41. Permission will never be granted for commercial purposes. 42. Someone will sue because they got injured in a crash while driving with the window shade in place and say that the warning in 72 point font was too small. 43. You will blow the speaker on the original Gameboy Advance (without opening it up!) before you will be allowed to take pot for medicinal purposes without unnesscessary govenment hostility. UPDATE: I hooked an LM-386 amplifier IC to a GBA which I wasn't using, and even at 400 mW peak, the GBA speaker doesn't reach the limits of its voice coil or suspension. 44. The electronic flash in your Hasselblad camera that you bought when you were 55 will stop working before you retire. 45. They will never make an M or AO rated video game based on human sacrifice, an executioner eviscerating someone for treason, or a Samurai cutting a Geisha into 14 pieces with a katana. (unfortunately). 46. Movies based on video games will always, ALWAYS stink. Even when darkness covers the planet.
						Things that are certain personally. (you probably won't care unless you're really bored).
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